Who was Joel Serlin?

Was Joel Serlin the oceans of commotion coupled with a roller coaster of torment?  Was he the in-between soul who vacillated back and forth or the extremely bright leader and caring man?  Was he the person who carried a sentimental attaché case of dreams and goals?

How would Joel respond to the question?  Would it be from his mentally challenged perception or would it be from the Joel experienced by so many others?

Is he to be identified as the man who died by suicide or is he to be known for his attributes?  I, as his mother having the privilege of working with him daily and listening to all those who knew him, proclaim the answer.  And I stand for all those who died by suicide.  Joel Serlin is and was all of the above and so much more.  Without a doubt his identity is in his compassion and giving to others.

He was a motivator and an involved part of a team. Expressing his joy in smelling the flowers and being in touch with nature was an awe inspiring experience for him.  And as he began to lose this wonder, he knew he was failing.  He felt great loss.

He led in Toastmasters.  Many knew him for his humor.  He made you laugh until his laughter was drowned out by mental illness.

Joel was life and love.  He was a body builder and a vegetarian.  He loved to research. Writing was his unique talent among talents.  It was his love and it was shared by his professors that he had a brilliant style.  Joel lit up a room with his stance and gift of empowerment.  And then there were other times when depression and mood disorders changed his complete persona.  He loved to talk and to debate.  He also loved to argue. He was a perfectionist and when he fought the valiant fight for life, he hated himself for his illness.

Joel’s accomplishments were an enigma to him.  His perception was vastly different than that of his family and friends.  He fought day in and day out the fear of going insane and living out the rest of his days in a mental institution.  Unfortunately this was his driving force.

He lived only a year and a half in Iowa yet, the number of people attending the first funeral service was shocking. Our family learned so much more about Joel from his friends and his professors.  He made significant contributions to others lives.  From his friends to his professors, everyone who knew him admired his motivating ability and uncanny perception for others. They talked about how he helped some with MS and one recovering from a stroke. He embraced friendship and yet he felt so alone.

There are many Joel’s out there with amazing gifts and sensitivity.  They live in pain and they die in pain.  It doesn’t have to be.  All of society loses.  My son was the “victim” of his illness and the victor in living 31 years and fighting with valor. All the people in Iowa, our family, friends and the love of his life were special to him as he was to them.We lost an amazing young man with a love of poetry and literature of all types.  Joel’s presence made you stand up and take notice.  His was the fight between life and the torments of his mind.  He was fury and rage and he was also a kind and beautiful soul.

Working with Joel was a torment and a blessing.  Thank you my son for who you were, who you are and thank you for asking for my help.  I love you always.